I’m a fan of Bill George's excellent book, True North: Discover Your Authentic Leadership. Published 17 years ago, it’s as timely as ever
The book contains a funny anecdote about a well-known CEO who has been through two divorces. The CEO convinces himself that the first divorce was his wife's fault, but after the second divorce he decides he has a wife-selection problem.
Later, his therapist tells him, "I have good news and bad news. The good news is you do not have a wife selection problem. The bad news is you have a husband behavior problem."
It doesn't take a lot of imagination to see how this story applies to management. We have all seen situations in which an executive is stuck in a pattern of churning people who work for him. Usually, he is exasperated by his inability to choose good people. Yet in almost every case, the executive himself is the issue.
To adapt the therapist’s assessment, it's not a people selection problem, it's a manager behavior problem.
Effective leaders actively seek advice on how they can get better. Doing so requires a willingness to look honestly at their own shortcomings. It takes a mix of self-confidence and humility to do that.
Insecure leaders can’t take input because they are afraid to admit they aren’t perfect. They are always blaming others when things go wrong. That cripples their ability to improve. They get stuck in a rut, unless—like the CEO in George’s story—personal or professional failures provoke a crisis that forces them to engage in difficult self-examination.
There’s a big lesson in the CEO’s story: It’s the psychological factors that are the biggest obstacle to self-improvement.
We would all do well to cultivate the habit of constructive self-criticism, and to regularly solicit advice on how we can improve. It’s not easy, but it’s a lot better than the alternative.